A little bit X-Rated !

For some reason, most of the funnies that have come up this week - either in school, or those I've remembered from last year, are a little below the belt! Of course, the rude ones are usually the funniest and the most memorable...

La mas parte de las frases graciosas que he encontrado esta semana - o en el instituto o las de que me he acordado del a~o pasado, estan un poco indecentes ! Pero bueno, son estas que normalmente nos dan la mas risa y son tambien la mas memorable...

Let's start with the Spanish mishaps / Empezamos con los percances en espanol...

Inglesa: "Voy ya"
Camarero: "Que?"
Inglesa: "Voy ya !"
Camarero: "Que?"
Inglesa: "VOY YA !"
Camarero, mirandola con cara extrana: "Pero, QUÉ?"
Inglesa: "Voooy.... yaaaa..... me voy, ya!"
Camarero: "Joer, pensaba que me estabas gritando 'Polla' !"

-Una situacion que me paso en el Queru esta semana... para los que nos conoceis, fue una conversacion entre el Cesar y yo... confundidos los dos!

English girl: "I'm off now"
Bartender: "What?"
English girl: "I'm off now!"
Bartender: "What?"
English girl: "I'M OFF NOW!"
Bartender, looking at her with a peculiar face: "But, WHAT?"
English girl: "I'mmmm...offff.... I'm going, now!"
Bartender: "Bloody hell, I thought you were shouting at me 'You Dick'! "

- This is the very confusing conversation I had with Cesar while he was working behind the bar in Queru this week. Obviously in English the confusion doesn't translate, but in Spanish 'Voy ya - I'm off' and 'Polla - Dick' sound very similar, especially in a noisy bar!


"Quiero una polla !"
-Una francesa en la carneceria. Evidentamente, queria un pollo!

"Give me a dick!" - A French girl in the butcher's. She wanted a chicken (un pollo).


"Dame una pajita !"
-Una Americana al camarero en el Bar Queru. La gente estaban riendo de esta pero la verdad es que, gramaticalmente, esta correcta, no? Ha pedido una paja (de beber)... no? Explicame porfa!

"Give me a little wank !" - An American girl to one of the bar guys in Bar Queru. The word 'pajita' can mean straw and wank... obviously she wanted a straw. I don't completely understand the concept myself - I don't think this is mistranslation, but more 'selective interpretation' - it caused much laughter anyhow.


Una Americana a una monja, visitando un monestario hace unos a~os -
"Me encanta tu cruz de mierda.... ayy, madera, cruz de madera... ayy perdona, es que, estoy tan embarazada...!"
Queria decir 'me da verguenza' pero se confundio con la palabra en ingles que es 'embarrassed'

An American girl to a nun, visiting a monestary several years ago -
"I love your shitty cross.... ooh, wooden, wooden cross... ooh sorry, it's just that, I'm so pregnant!" She got rather confused with the words 'mierda - shit' and 'madera - wooden' and then used the word 'embarazada' in Spanish which actually means 'pregnant', not embarrassed!


And now for the English issues from school this week...

Y ahora los errores del instituto esta semana...


English Assistant: "So class, what's a telescope?"
Boy: "It's used for studying physiques, no?"
English Assistant: "Uum, I think you mean Physics!"

The American assistant was imagining the telescope being used to view people's physiques (bodies) from a distance... interestingly, the boy that made this statement is the very same boy who featured in our 'Peeping Tom incident' in last week's post!

Auxiliar de Ingles: "Bueno chicos, que es un telescopio?"
Chico: "Lo usamos para estudiar el fisico, no?"
Auxiliar de Ingles: "Uuh, creo que quieres decir la fisica!"

La Americana imaginaba usar el telescopio para mirar el cuerpo de gente a distancia... de modo interesante, el chico que hizo este error es el mismo chico del 'incidente del miron' en el post de la semana pasada!


"Matthew carried her through the long paths between green marshes and fields. Between them, a fine but strong wire of love linked them."
- A 15 year old boy in an essay about a couple of young lovers. I'm very curious about this fine but strong wire of love....!!

"Mateo la llevaba a traves de los caminos entre los pantanos y los campos. Entre ellos, habia un cable de amor, fino pero fuerte, que los enlazo."
- Un chaval de 15 a~os escribiendo sobre una pareja joven. El problema aqui es que no se traduce... en ingles, el 'cable de amor entre ellos' suena como algo falico!


Teacher: "So, do you know anyone that has any unusual pets?"
Boy: "I have a friend who sleeps with a snake in his bed!"
I'm not going to spell this one out... I'm sure most of you understand why I find this one so amusing!

Profe: "Conoceis alguien que tiene algun animal domestico raro?"
Chico: "Pues, tengo un amigo que duerme con un serpiente en su cama!"
En clase de bachillerato - espero que no necisito explicar porque esto es tan gracioso...!


Having just read an article about teenagers going through emotional and physical changes, discussing an unsociable 16 year old boy...
Teacher: "Why does Jimmy prefer to stay in his bedroom?"
I'm not going to write the response that one of the 14 year old boys in this class gave us, but, if you can guess... you've probably guessed correctly! And yes, despite this class having quite a low level of English, this boy was spot on with his choice of vocabulary!

Despues de leer un articulo sobre los cambios fisicos y emocionales que sufren los jovenes - hablando de un chico poco sociable de 16 a~os...
Profe: "Por que Jimmy prefiere quedarse en su habitacion?"
No voy a escribir la respuesta de un chaval de 14 a~os aqui, pero podeis imaginar... este chico no tenia muy buen nivel de ingles, pero sabia esta palabra perfectamente!